Yesterday
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Baby cried loudly: “Baby, you leave me now.” I walked up to baby’s bed, he is crying in his sleep and twisting also his blanket: “Baby, you leave me now.”
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I hold him up, clap gently on his back: “Baby, what has happened. You made nightmare, and wake yourself up? ” Baby crying and rub his eyes by fist, he said: “Papa, what happened? Why you holding me? I am sleeping, what crying? No, mother was playing hide and seek with me. I ran and mother chase after me, mother could not catch me up.”
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Baby still sweeping: “Papa. Why mother leave me, she don’t want me. Ming and Flower, when parents day, their mother will attend. Mother only live in the photo, never come home. Will you also leave me, and live in the photo.”
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I keep the gentle clapping: “I will always there. When I am too old and forget you, I will still there.”
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Doctor come nearby clap me one, he said: “Mr. Ming, Mrs. Ming. It is not under control. We need your decision if in the worse, you need to retain the baby?” I yelled: “I need Winnie and not the baby. I need Winnie in good healfh, I don’t need the baby if in danger.” Winne lean her head and bite my lip again, I hear her speech clearly: “Doctor. My life is mine. Baby inside is mine. I am the only one who could decide. I retain the baby, I need give birth to him, I need him health come to this world. My life is till it end, you could hardly retain mine, I need the baby there, tie up Tomorrow his own life, I don’t give chance to other woman to share him.”
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Winnie hold me tight, she pull my head on her cheek: “Tomorrow. No angry. No blame. I cannot share you with other woman, I need you have a baby carry up, no other girl would then consider you. I am your only woman in your life.” She sweep: “Tomorrow. I am not a good girl. I am with a ugly and black mind.” I put my lip on her: “My Wife. I love you. I love you, you are the only one I love.”
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Doctor raise his voice: “Mr. Ming and Mrs Ming. Congratulation, a boy. A handsome fatty boy.” I looked at the baby in towel wrapping and with whole body in bloody red, a purple colour face, the hair twisted like a bread, I said: “Winnie, he was ugly, like you.” Winnie take back baby, wide open the patience gown, position the baby on her nipple, gently clapping: “Baby, baby, you must be hungry, mama feeding you.” Winnie wide open also the other side, pull my head to her breast, grasp her nipple in my mouth: “Baby, baby. You drink also. I do not have other clean and white for you. No other has drink my milk.” I sweep and stay head on her breast, she gently clapping my back-head, left hand holding the little baby feeding.
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The baby holding hand loosen, I saw the milk flow onto her belly, I sat up and hands caught the falling baby. She looked at me, her lips in her last energy to smile, I watched her eyes closed slowly, I watched her purple red lips, in one sudden into grey red, I watched her breast breathing movement stopped.
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I yell in my heart: “Holy Sky master. If I could grant a chance. I promise leave Winnie from suffer any heart breaking and bad. Grant me a chance.”
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