avalanche
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Baby watching the TV and scream: “PaPa, snowing raining. The snow keep raining on the mountain, balabala, I was shocked.”
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I looked at the TV, a big screen of white, some green trees and grey rocks, everything on the flow was knocked down. Nothing could stop and kept flowing, like the cow running on the animal programme.
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Baby yelled: “Snowing raining. If I stood there, I must flowed and magic as a Snowman, papa am I right?” I am a bit un-concentrate. Baby yelled again: “Papa, are you OK? Snow raining only, don’t be afraid. I am here.”
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Baby seems whispered: “Snowing raining.” I go far to that day.
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** ** ** **
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I sat next to the bed, I hand in hand with her and softly comfort her: “Only a little bit pain. Doctor has said, breath in, then out. Our baby will come and we will be together three.”
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She pull my hand and bit heavily: “Tomorrow. I feel very bad and pain. I don’t want baby, I don’t want it. I don’t want this delivery anymore.”
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My hand bring very strong pain, I gently comfort her: “It will be very OK. When the baby out, we eat a lot ice-cream to resume. Very fast, just like one two three, three two one, its will be there. Tempt a little bit more time, I go and push doctor and nurse, this delivery must like eye wink. Just one open and close.”
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She bit me hardly: “Fast. This is what your fast. I have pain for whole night. He is such bad baby bring me so much pain, when it come out, push Doctor give it a lot of punch on his bottom. Only his big cry could release my mood.”
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I feel so much nervous, and said something without conscious mind: “OK. Big punch. If no punch I will change my family name and follow his.”
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She laugh, and the bite a bit lossen: “Do, rei me… He is your son. His family name Ming, you follow just same.” She looked at my eyes: “Tomorrow, I want to hold you very very tight. I don’t have any others, I could only have this baby gift you. You serious to accept him. You have to think it clear and not a rash decide.”
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I stand up, lean close and hold her round, my forehead touch her: “My life is always rash, no worry. In the coming days, I have and you Baby partner with, I will be triple happiness. I am sure eat two more bowl of rice. I have strong desire, I need to kiss you. OK…”
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Winnie in her deeply red face: “There are lots of peoples.” Sound surrounded: “I see nothing, sure see nothing.” “Tonight TV show is so good, so good.” “You freely. I am busy on the newspaper, it is millions trading each second, I am so busy not for any others.”
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Winnie lean up her upper body, face in red: “It is all you, dirty tomorrow.” She kiss softly on my face, I smile silly: “When you kiss me, I will I am full with power. I feel so comfort and joy.” Laughing and whistle nearby. Winnie in a mix of shy and anger, shout at me: “Stop. Silent.. Say nothing.” She yelled to the nearby: “And you all, none laughing on my Tomorrow. Only I can laughing on him. He is my toy. His is my treasure.” She keep blaming and hold my in her arm: “Tomorrow, I feel very pain. We don’t give birth of him today, wait till next day, I don’t feel pain. We give birth then.”
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I heard and its sound something not normal, but I can’t get where it gone wrong. Doctor and nurse start the everyday patience room examination. I get grasp from the Winnie’s hand and run to the front of Doctor: “Doctor, please cone to have an examination on Winnie, she has heavy pain, and it last for already a night and day. We intend not to give birth the baby, wait till to coming few days after the pain gone.” Doctor and nurse have a look on me, and have a look onto Winnie, Doctor say: “Mr Ming and Mrs Wing. No need to worry much, when it come close to the time of give birth, it is always come with some pain. Mrs Ming has long hours of pain period, we will have a further monitor. The time of give birth follow the growth of the baby, and we not suggest to give change by tools or medicine. Mrs Ming you have already suffer the pain for so long time, if you leave, it will repeat all such once again. We believe it should be the time the baby rush for coming see you two, when you see the big fatty baby, its worth everything.”
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Winnie un-curve her month and starred at me: “If he really treat me well, then I could think to be Mrs Ming. Now, I am Miss Won.”
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I ran back, raise the towel to clear her sweat: “Yes madam. Your majesty, Queen Winnie. ” I start copy reading the speech of the movie: “Starting from now on, I love you as my only one. Love blindly whatever you did, Truth always, Every promise will made come true, Every word to you must from my deep heart. Never dislike, Never blame, Never complain. Trust you for all. If anyone dislike you I will the shield front on you. Your Happiness is also my Happiness. Your Sad I will warm and melt it into Happiness. You are the only beauty of me. My dream will only meet you. In my heart and mind, it is only you. My Winnie.” ** Note 1
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“Its freeze. Nurse, could you give me one more blanket.” “Nurse, my hair is all raise, it there any medicine for me.” “I am jealous, it is too Lovely, I need to share from.” I said to Doctor: “Doctor, if you need laughing, you may free to laugh.” I turn my head back and hold Winnie’s hand, look at her beautiful eyes, I feel so Lovely, there are Winnie for my to love, she hasn’t left me. I saw her crying, I said: “Winnie why you crying, you feel pain again.” I raise my hand to her: “Have a bite,. If you feel pain just bite mine to release. I am fat enough, after bite you will feel comfort then.” Her teardrops like the waterfall: “I haven’t cried. It is only upstairs forgot to close the water tube.” I use the other hand to comb her hair, help her clear the sweat: “Crying for no reason, its like movie said, woman was made from water. No crying, crying will make ugly, ugly will have nobody.” She bite heavily: “You dare. Even I am the most ugly you need to be there, you are not allow to go anywhere. You just said you Love me, love for two seconds and fade.” She swung my hand away and yelled: “All man are bad. I don’t want it, I have said million times I don’t want it. Why it was not fair, why I have to suffer, I don’t want it.”
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She explode her temper, she hit strong on her belly, I was shocked, I climb and cover on her body and all the fist on my shoulder, I shouted: “Doctor, Nurse. Help, please help. Clam down Winnie, she lost control again.” Winnie just fist and leg, up and down, left and right, kept moving and struggle to sit up, she shouted: “You bastard tomorrow. Go away. I don’t need you. I don’t need your mercy. I need none mercy from the world. You liar, you said you love me and promise to be with me. You know you are no possible to be with me, you know we have no chance to be till we go old. You go away and why staying with me, You why told those lies, You why be a liar, ”
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She struggle with a volcano explosion power and out from my body, I was kicked off by her. She stand on the bed, hand and leg shaking elsewhere, she seems lose the balance, she fell down from the bed. I stand up and ran there, her left leg stuck at the bed support bar, she was upside down, head at the bottom, back on top, right leg on the floor.
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I saw red colour keep extending on her trousers, I shouted: “Doctors, bleeding. Nurse, Bleeding. Winnie is bleeding.”
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I put my hand underneath Winnie’s neck and waist, I hold her up: “Doctor, Winnie’s bleeding.”
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Doctors make instruction: “Emergency surgery room, there may be blood tube exploded inside patience, we need rush.” Doctors ask: “Mr. Ming. Mrs Ming was in emergency, it is dangerous. We need to have surgery now, we don’t have signature from her parents or executor. Could you be this witness and executor, the official procedure need these.” I holding her: “Doctor. I give every word you need. I give everything you want. Rush, Winnie is bleeding, blood cover the whole floor.” Nurse push open the door: “Doctor, surgery room is ready, the transportation bed is on the way.” I hold her to nurse: “Doctor, we cannot wait, I hold her into the surgery room. No wait.”
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Doctor stopped for a while: “OK. Now Mr. Ming please offer us help.” I hold Winnie and follow into surgery room, put her on the bed. Winnie awaken a bit, she hand to my face: “Tomorrow, why you are crying.” I said: “I am happy.” My right hand hold her arm, my left hand comb on her hair: “Doctor knows you are pian, plan to come here to release it. You have a bit patience, its will soon gone, and our baby will be there too.”
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Doctor said: “Mr. Ming, the surgery is ready, please wait outside.” Winnie shout and yelled: “Tomorrow, you go nowhere. You go, I don’t give birth the baby. You go, I go.” Winnie continued the yelled: “No one can force my Tomorrow out.” Doctor and nurse whispered: “Mr. Ming. We need you to clam down Mrs. Ming, we will try our best, we stop the bleeding first.”
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My left hand holding Winnie neck and back-head, right hand gently clapping her shoulder, I whispered: “Winnie. You are my biggest treasure, Baby is second big treasure. With you and him, I am the most happy and luck guy in the universe.” I make a kiss on Winnie lip, she starred at me: “Who let you kiss me. My first kiss need to retain for my husband.” She in a anger: “You never take me, why you kiss me.” I hold her tight: “My wife, my dearest, I love you.” Winnie just starred: “What.” I repeated: “My wife, my dearest, I love you.” She was in a little wonder: “We are not marry, I am not your wife. Till you give me a wedding, a wedding party, then I am your wife.” She crease her eye-bow: “You sure you want me as your wife. You are not because of mercy. You really don’t mind all.” I hold her in tight: “My wife. I love you. I love you from my deeply heart. I do not know much, but I know I am truly love you. I want the all coming day to be with you. We live in happy day would be all for me.” I lean my head kiss her again, she bite on my lip, very strong bite, I feel like the lip was bitten and no longer there. She bite and speak bilibala, I stay pain by myself: “My wife, what you are talking. I hear nothing.”
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She free her bite, I saw her lip and mouth will blood, I get the towel to help her clean: “My wife, why you with so much blood. You bite on your tongue?” She lean her head and bite me a soft one: “You stupid is enough. Don’t pass such stupid onto our baby. Those blood are yours, its salty. Lusty tomorrow.”
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Doctor come nearby clap me one, he said: “Mr. Ming, Mrs. Ming. It is not under control. We need your decision if in the worse, you need to retain the baby?” I yelled: “I need Winnie and not the baby. I need Winnie in good healfh, I don’t need the baby if in danger.” Winne lean her head and bite my lip again, I hear her speech clearly: “Doctor. My life is mine. Baby inside is mine. I am the only one who could decide. I retain the baby, I need give birth to him, I need him health come to this world. My life is till it end, you could hardly retain mine, I need the baby there, tie up Tomorrow his own life, I don’t give chance to other woman to share him.”
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Winnie hold me tight, she pull my head on her cheek: “Tomorrow. No angry. No blame. I cannot share you with other woman, I need you have a baby carry up, no other girl would then consider you. I am your only woman in your life.” She sweep: “Tomorrow. I am not a good girl. I am with a ugly and black mind.” I put my lip on her: “My Wife. I love you. I love you, you are the only one I love.”
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Doctor raise his voice: “Mr. Ming and Mrs Ming. Congratulation, a boy. A handsome fatty boy.” I looked at the baby in towel wrapping and with whole body in bloody red, a purple colour face, the hair twisted like a bread, I said: “Winnie, he was ugly, like you.” Winnie take back baby, wide open the patience gown, position the baby on her nipple, gently clapping: “Baby, baby, you must be hungry, mama feeding you.” Winnie wide open also the other side, pull my head to her breast, grasp her nipple in my mouth: “Baby, baby. You drink also. I do not have other clean and white for you. No other has drink my milk.” I sweep and stay head on her breast, she gently clapping my back-head, left hand holding the little baby feeding.
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The baby holding hand loosen, I saw the milk flow onto her belly, I sat up and hands caught the falling baby. She looked at me, her lips in her last energy to smile, I watched her eyes closed slowly, I watched her purple red lips, in one sudden into grey red, I watched her breast breathing movement stopped.
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I looked at the baby in my hand, I whispered: “I don’t want you. I need Winnie and not you. I need my wife, I need Winnie, I don’t want you shitty baby, I don’t want you monster baby. I don’t….. ”
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Doctor come and get the back, he open the towel, he hold the baby in reverse upside down. I saw him clap on the bottom of baby, clap one, clap the second, clap the third, I heard the loud crying from baby: “wow, wow, wow, wow…” I heard the baby with a clear and strong crying.
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I pick back the reversed baby, I hold the naked him I went back to the bed, I pull her up gently, I bend softly her arm, put the baby in between. From her back, my hand put underneath support hers, I position her head on my shoulder, I raise the baby to her nipple, baby sucking milk while crying, he just like know this is the first and final mother’s dinner.
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Doctor asked: “Mr. Ming, you need to resume. We will help the follow up of Mrs. Ming. We have one important need your decision. For your baby, on the birth registration, the box of Father. And also his name.”
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On that day, I hand in hand with Winnie, I heard the kidding on her belly, we have talked:
“Tomorrow, if the baby give birth. The father’s name written yours, OK?”
“If it is not me, I will get the form, and fill it myself. Father is Tomorrow, Mother is Winnie, Baby is Ming XiaoBao.”
“You have think clearly?”
“Everything is clear. It is all it is. Father is Tomorrow, Mother is Winnie, Baby is Ming XiaoBao.”
“If then. I call Baby, both you two raise up…”
“OK. If there are others, he is baby. If in our room, I am baby. Then all fine.”
“You lusty Tomorrow.”
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I shook my head for a minutes, I told Doctors: “Mother is Winnie, Father is Tomorrow. He is our sone Ming XiaoBao.”
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Maybe I speak too loudly, or maybe he don’t like the name Ming XiaoBao, he shook his body and start crying, I hold him in arm, I clap gently and sing the sleeping song: “世上只有媽媽好…..” Note 1
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Note 1:
(this is a chinese song, Mother is the only one who treat you good without price…. )”
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