He turned his back to me, folded his arms behind himself, then spoke, looking again out the vent at the top of the tent, “Would you like to have a drink with me?” His words were smooth, thoughtful.
“Shouldn’t you help Samuel?” I worried for my friend.
“He is at peace now. If he were in great pain or distress, he wouldn’t sleep. Trust me,” He looked at me over his shoulder, “Sleep only comes to those at peace. For everyone else, sedation is a requirement. Look at him, Peter, that is your name right? Yes… well does he not look okay to you?”
I studied my boots for a moment, wondering if I should challenge the doctor’s opinion, “While I agree with you Dr.Snape, pain can make sleeping difficult, I believe Samuel is a different kind of man. He is of a different breed than you and I. With God it seems he can find peace anywhere, even in the most painful of situations.”
He shook his head and began to walk outside. I followed him, and we sat under the stars at the little table just before the entrance to the tent. He picked up the glass from the ground near his seat, and filled it with the remainder of the Scotch. He then beckoned the boy with a whistle and a twirl of his finger. The boy clearly understood what the doctor meant and went running toward the house.
Dr.Snape drank. He set the glass down and looked at me suspiciously. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, he spoke. “I'm sorry for how I acted back at your house.”
I was taken aback.
“It was inappropriate of me to take out my frustrations on you. All you wanted was to help your mother… and that is a very honorable thing to do.”
It was hard looking him in the eye, so I watched my hands on the table. “It’s very alright, Dr. Snape--”
He cut me off, “Please, call me Theodore.”
“Thank you. Well, as I was saying, I appreciate your apology, but it was very alright. Knowing now what you were going through, just a little of course, I see why you behaved so… as you put it, ‘inappropriately’”.
“You're too kind. If I was anything less than I am now, you would have taken a swing at me, I could see it in your eyes. And you know? I deserved it. I’ve behaved terribly, Peter, and everyone here,” He cocked his head, as if a thought came to him, “Everyone in this whole fucking town Peter, they expect me to be a mirriacle maker, to be like Jesus. You heard Samuel.” He sighed, examined his shirt, and noticed he had a small, crusty stain. It was red. It was the blood of one of his patients. He picked at the stain until all that was left was an orange speck.
“Well…” He continued, “I am neither. I am a man, and a pitiful one at that. I cannot mix a bit of spit and soil to cure the blind. I doubt, with all the wrong I’ve done on this earth, that there is, like your friend said in there,” He nodded his head toward Samuel, “a place beside my daughter in heaven. At least I know she is at peace…” Tears welled in his eyes and he quickly wiped them away by pinching them with his index and thumb. Something then came over him, and his emotions changed from sorrow to rage. This sudden change pushed me to lean back in my chair, and he slammed his hand on the table and roared, “Where is that blasted boy with my Scotch!”
Crows escaped from the trees and became black specks against the full moon.
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